when will I see you again?

a perfect song for you in case you read this...how deep you break my heart... 

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye,
Not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any scene,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

When will I see you again?

blessed and thankful

 Alhamdulillah, I do not feel as hell as ever whenever I get my heart broken because now my new love is my career.  Usually when I'm down, I seek my friends for comfort and if they are not around, when I'm all alone I would cry my heart out.  Now that my time is occupied by work in mind, I don't feel sad 24/7.  I could busy myself with work and not playing the WHY game.  

Of course there are times, especially on my way to and back from work and the time before I fall asleep that I quietly cry.  It's been a month and I don't know when this will be finally over.  Heartbroken has made my mood swings, a close friend notices and guess that I've break up with the guy because she said I fake my smile and laugh and distance myself more often.  Being back home in JB with my family is definitely an instance cure, though I'm not fully recovered, I'm thankful I have my family and friends to back me up.  I'm truly blessed.  Thank you ALLAH swt.

April 2012

April is almost over, I am still hoping for only Allah knows what, of you.
Heart broken, hopes gone, dreams crash and burn.
Thank you for making me stronger.
(in case you read this, you know who you are)

bullshitters be warned

Nothing much happen this past few weeks in April. Aside from living a new life in a same old place, everything is pretty much the same. Oh, scratch that, I'm now struggling to better my life by forgiving and forget. Can't really say that I've reached the forgiving state but I'm slowly able to forget. Just my luck to encounter so many fucking bullshitters in my life. Love is not something that you can promise and trash. It's not a playground for idiot for try and error. It's a matter of heart, something so fragile and easily break. Don't forget this, what goes around comes around..I've nothing against you yet you lay your shits on me. Why????

I've yet found someone who can be as sincere as me and true to their words. But one thing for sure, I will not trust people again. NEVER AGAIN!!!!

I've not giving up on love just yet. Please let the next person be the one I can spend the rest of my life with.amin.

ps: feel like shooting all past bullshitters in the face. Pls grant me a license to kill.

when he's not here to witness my life now...words cannot describe how I feel...