Malay wedding stages

A malay wedding ceremony is performed according to Islamic principles with a blend of Malay tradition.

1. Merisik

Nowadays, the Malays normally skip this part as this tradition is most suitable for arranged marriage. Merisik is the seeking ceremony where a man is ready to settle down, his family will seek out information about suitable/particular woman. Representatives from the man's family will pay visit to the woman's family, there may be or may not be further arrangement of marriage as this depends on both sides of family whether to further or not.

2. Bertunang or engagement

If there is further arrangement of marriage (means both sides agree), engagement date will be set. It is held at the soon-to-be-bride's home, a symbol that  the future groom and bride are reserved to be married. This is when both families discuss the wedding date and plan. Both sides will bring gifts for each other which normally in modern Malay wedding consist of dessert, shoes, accessories, sometimes electronic gadget like handphone.

3. Malam berinai

Three days before the wedding (nowadays usually a day before the wedding), there will be malam berinai or henna drawing ceremony, during this time, henna is worn on the fingertips of the bride. Today weddings, elaborate henna design is worn as it is fashionable.

4. Akad nikah or solemnization a.k.a marriage contract

Both bride and groom will sign the marriage contract witness by religious officials, family and relatives which is required by both Islamic and civic law to legalize a Malay wedding. Both newlywed will exchange rings as symbol of unity. The groom will present his bride with mas kahwin (dowry) which is a payment from husband to wife that is legally due by Islamic law during the solemnization ceremony either in form of money or something that has monetary value for example gold jewelries. For further information, visit Dowry (mahar) in Islamic Perspective.

5. Bersanding

the Crown Prince of Brunei and Princess Sarah was married on September 9th, 2004

The couple will sits on pelamin and as a mark of approval and blessing, family,relatives followed by guests will sprinkle the newly wed with scented water and yellow rice. The guests are given bunga telur as a symbol of fertility which nowadays modern Malay wedding replace this with various kind of doorgift.

6. Bulan madu or honeymoon

it's all coming back to me now...

Forgive me for even posting this...I'm sure this is just a feeling, a short flashback.
But, it's all coming back to me.

in quest for true love

Been thinking a lot today...looking back, I fall in love without thinking because to me it is the matter of heart, no thinking needed...just do it. I was wrong, I should have think it through not just follow my heart desire. I am done being loyal when it comes to love...I should and need to be loyal to the one I shall marry. For now, I shall open my mind and heart...falling in love as much as I can until I found the one. 

I'm not afraid to fall in love, I'm just afraid of hitting the ground when its over. 

Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst. Only then will you have found your true love.

You're going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you will be with forever. So think of it this way: You're just one broken heart to a happily forever after.

mistake and regret

I'd rather be slapped in the face than hearing those words coming out from your mouth. It's tearing me inside, I wronged you I know...I'm trying to forget and move on but after today it seems more difficult. I don't know anymore if I could go on.

bye job...hi love...

Been awhile since I last blogged...lost my passion a bit since the work kept holding me back, such an attention seeker! Finally, the decision made! I QUIT MY JOB JUST BECAUSE THE PASSION BURN

Yup, that's it...I had it! Done...The experience was seriously worth it but you definitely cannot buy food with experience. It wasn't enough, I got loads to pay, my study loan...saving and all..I want to buy a house and a car damn it!I don't care if people thought I was stupid, stubborn and selfish. I had enough.

I left the job even before I got a replacement because the job requires money instead of giving me some.
I was stubborn because patience has it limits.
I was selfish because I don't want to think about others no more...I want to think about myself. I wanted to be selfish, I would have leave the post long time even without considering to leave for 2 weeks.

Honestly...I lost a job but I gain new love. Well, not actually new one...an old flame ignite. Stronger love than ever, praying hard he is the one.

random survey about relationship

Come across this, actually I don't have any idea what to fill in this blog of mine.

Have you ever been in love?

Not truly.

Longest relationship you've ever been in, and why did it end?

A year – I wasn’t ready and I don’t appreciate him

Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how?

No.

Pretend I'm you ex, what do you want to say to me?

I wish I never met you. You are a mistake that shouldn’t have happened.

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.

Have you ever cheated?

So far, never.

Would you date someone who's known for cheating, if yes/no why?

No, I don’t want the same thing happened to me.

What's the most important part of a relationship?

Sincerity – if you are sincere about loving someone, you wouldn’t cheat/break her heart

Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Now, serious relationship.

When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

Nope, how can you get enough of someone you are in love with?

What's one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship?

My childhood love was a jerk – he made me look like a fool, the deepest cut ever and it never really healed.

What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

Only when they're married.

Do you believe in the phrase, "Age is just a number?" Why or why not?

Yes, you yourself define who you are.

What about "Love at first sight"? Why or why not?

Never happen so far so I don’t believe because I don’t fall in love easily

Turn on's?

Intelligent + smell nice

Turn off's?

Cocky + passive

How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

When he makes too many excuses, too often

Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single?

Not in a relationship

Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

Yes

Do you think people should date their friends?

Why not, but have to deal with awkwardness when it fail to work out

How many relationships have you had?

Three

Do you think love can last forever?

If you want it to be, if Allah wills

Do you believe love can conquer all things?

Yes

Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

No, my parents are sensible people who will approve when they see how responsible someone can be

If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

Don’t take things to serious, casual is better

Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not?

Yes if they can really commit – trust and honesty

What do you notice first about another person?

I’m attracted to smart guy who have broad point of views about things, someone who can take about anything, definitely not someone who is quiet and passive

right here waiting

Never try, never fail...perhaps that's what I should do considering I terribly suck at love department.  Everytime I set my eyes on someone, everytime I'm trying to build my own happiness, something somewhere went wrong.  Was it my fault to be so giving?so give in?too caring?too loving?should I care less and make guys chase after me instead? Almost sick and tired.  When I love, I love unconditionally, truthfully, with all my heart...but no one see that. When I care too much, turn out I'm annoying.  Do you know what it feels like when someone you are deeply in love with, the one that you miss everyday, the one that you patiently wait for tells you that you annoyed him? Reality just slap me right in the face.. Realize when he said he doesn't give answers? That means he doesn't want you to get to know him.

There you have it Jihan, the ugly truth, leave him alone already, he doesn't need you, didn't he mentioned he works best alone? Snap out of it! Stop chasing dream, it's not real.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

more than words

I was afraid of what to come...so traumatized.  Being in that kind of situation over and over again makes me lose my mind, even worse, I'll lose my faith.  I can't seem to get away from it and it kept coming back mocking me in the sweetest sin.  Yes, it is easier said than done, people make plans but only few have the guts to carry out all the way through.  Wish it would be easy but mine was destined to be tough.  It's true what they said about promises are meant to be broken, words glide from your mouth so easy, I want to believe but I can't.  I'll listen to your sweet words but I won't keep it in my mind fearing it will haunt me back like it always did.

Love spending time with you...S.A.

what i need is...

to the one i'm deeply in love with

Baby,

I'm not good at words, even words cannot express the way I feel now...but sayang, thank you for showering me with lots of love.  I'm so thankful I found you.  May there will be more first time together, inshaAllah.

I pray we live happily ever after till Jannah, inshaAllah.amin.

falling in love again

Alhamdulillah for I am blessed with hectic-ness when I need it.  At least it kept me from thinking about what might have become between us.  Everything happen for a reason, if I don't get my heart broken, I will never have met this wonderful guy.  Let's see how this relationship goes...

I never get tired of falling in love, although when I fall, I fall badly, and get my heart broken is dreadful, but I love the feeling I get when I fall in love.

when he's not here to witness my life now...words cannot describe how I feel...

wish you were

It is sad when the person you want to share moment with is nowhere to be reached.

Someone said, when the guy you like stick with you through pain and sorrow...don't let him slip away because he is worth it.  I went through sorrow with my friends backing me up and you are nowhere to be found.

disappointment

Disappointment after disappointment...

Just a reminder

With no significant other to occupy their time, each member of the couple will end up going out more and will inadvertently meet the next person they will be with next.

SOLUTION: This can be prevented by spending more time with significant other over the phone and make effort to see each other, being M.I.A is not helping...it's making significant other frustrated and don't blame the other party if she starts thinking whether to continue making the relationship work or not. Most important is not to let her feel like it is no different being single and in a relationship with you, if she can't depend on you to make her feel better when she is in low point or share happy stories with you, she will tend to look for other people to confide to, slowly you will have no important role in her life.

Long distance relationships mean couples force themselves to talk too much, and forced talking will eventually lead to fights

SOLUTION: Talking is important in LDR as both of you are unable to spend time together often, but too much of it will leads to argument because she is sick and tired of just talking but no action. Have you not realize that action DO speaks louder than words?

This is me sharing through experience!

building a house for 2

I have endure a few relationships that I'm not proud of. It hurts and definitely left a deep permanent scar. I agree it is not entirely the other party's fault and sometimes it is mine. But, now I'm matured and started thinking about having a family of my own, I'm ready to be serious and be committed. It's my turn now, I deserve someone nice just for me. I'm not excellent in other things I do, thus I pray let love be one thing that I'm blessed with.

Building a relationship is like building a house. It has to be able to provide shelter, it must have a strong foundation, it must be protected from disasters, easily accessible and last but not least, requires maintenance.

There should be trust as a solid foundation, 4 walls that are made of honesty, loyalty, understanding and reliability. The roof should be made of love, romance and compassion. There are other things that make a house cosy and comfortable, so does a relationship. Other things that makes it complete are respect, support, care, cooperation, share, committment, consideration, responsibility, patience and loads of other things.

weekend with gummy bear

I have the best weekend ever at home! I didn't go anywhere, the rest of the days were dedicated spending time with my gummy bear, best feelings ever! xoxo mon cher~ je t'aime!

another year wiser now

Alhamdulillah, I have come to 25 years living in this world.  I am thankful for the blessings bestow upon me by the Almighty.

I used to think that birthday is the one day I could get what I want, I should be treated like a princess and I could get away with anything because it is my special day.  But as I grew older, thankfully more wiser, I come to think that birthday is not about being selfish and self-centered.  It's about being thankful that you are given the opportunity to live and witness happiness and even sadness that make you stronger with people around you.  It's a chance to be better, to do more good, to make up for all the sins that you have done, for the heart that you've hurt or break without u realize it.

The best thing about this year birthday is that receiving some wise words from someone very dear to me that make me humble and not being grumpy because there is no party or celebration for me.  He said, in this world, you are a year older, but in another, you are 1 year less from being taken away from this world.  I was in deep thought and I am thankful that I have someone to constantly remind me.

p/s: dear you, thank you for the wise words, and thank you for spending hours talking to me on the phone although you are extremely busy,looking forward to meet you... =)

I think too much...

Just randomly browsing 9gag,when...

I do this a lot because I feel so insecure.  If you happen to read this, please don't left me, help me get through this... I just need faith and trust plus some time to get better.

the crybaby

Being in LDR kind of relationship truly tests your ability to stay loyal and honest. Everyone can declare that they possess these traits but to be able to keep and maintain them need perseverance and hard work.

Every now and then, we each take turn to be a crybaby. Take me for instance, when I was not in a relationship, I am dependent and able to handle anything on my own but once I’m in a relationship, I realized I’ve someone that I can depend who listen to my blabbering about life, my dissatisfaction on things and occasions that happen in my life. I’ve become a drama queen because I know there is someone who will listen and coax me, totally spoil me. Mostly, the crybaby role will be played by the girl and the guy will be calm and listens. During the crybaby state, the person will become whiny, defensive and severely emotional. I know this because I am one, plus I’ve observed some of my friends’ behavior. But not all guys can stand a crybaby. When there is too much drama going on, he will eventually become bored with it and get away from the drama scene.

I found that being in a long distance relationship, has turned me into a cry baby and a drama queen. Since my boyfriend is not around to coax me, I will end up being frustrated and angry. After some time, I’ve to coax myself and be self-motivated. It made me thinking, the point of us having a relationship is so that we have someone whom we can pour our heart to, share our happiness and sorrows, become spoilt all we want. But I realized, I’ve difficulties achieving those with him. The most annoying thing a guy/girl can do in a relationship is fail to be there for each other when needed. It is not advisable to be MIA because you’re encouraging your bf/gf to confide to other people. If you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of it, play your role as a bf/gf seriously. In my opinion, you will become closer, and you are able to get to know each other without him/her explaining what’s he/she like when you confide with each other, telling each other stories, share joys and woes rather than you spend time hanging out together everyday. When he/she confides with you, he/she is opening up to you, it is the matter of heart, something that people have troubled expressing.

Famous Story - a mother's sacrifice

This is a true story of Mother’ s Sacrifice during the Japan Earthquake. After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head. With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman could be still alive. However, the cold and stiff body told him that she had passed away for sure. He and the rest of the team left this house and were going to search the next collapsed building. For some reasons, the team leader was driven by a compelling force to go back to the ruin house of the dead woman. Again, he knelt down and used his had through the narrow cracks to search the little space under the dead body. Suddenly, he screamed with excitement,” A child! There is a child! “ The whole team worked together; carefully they removed the piles of ruined objects around the dead woman. There was a 3 months old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother’ s dead body. Obviously, the woman had made an ultimate sacrifice for saving her son. When her house was falling, she used her body to make a cover to protect her son. The little boy was still sleeping peacefully when the team leader picked him up. The medical doctor came quickly to exam the little boy. After he opened the blanket, he saw a cell phone inside the blanket. There was a text message on the screen. It said ,” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” This cell phone was passing around from one hand to another. Every body that read the message wept.

(taken from a wall post in Facebook)