the crybaby

Being in LDR kind of relationship truly tests your ability to stay loyal and honest. Everyone can declare that they possess these traits but to be able to keep and maintain them need perseverance and hard work.

Every now and then, we each take turn to be a crybaby. Take me for instance, when I was not in a relationship, I am dependent and able to handle anything on my own but once I’m in a relationship, I realized I’ve someone that I can depend who listen to my blabbering about life, my dissatisfaction on things and occasions that happen in my life. I’ve become a drama queen because I know there is someone who will listen and coax me, totally spoil me. Mostly, the crybaby role will be played by the girl and the guy will be calm and listens. During the crybaby state, the person will become whiny, defensive and severely emotional. I know this because I am one, plus I’ve observed some of my friends’ behavior. But not all guys can stand a crybaby. When there is too much drama going on, he will eventually become bored with it and get away from the drama scene.

I found that being in a long distance relationship, has turned me into a cry baby and a drama queen. Since my boyfriend is not around to coax me, I will end up being frustrated and angry. After some time, I’ve to coax myself and be self-motivated. It made me thinking, the point of us having a relationship is so that we have someone whom we can pour our heart to, share our happiness and sorrows, become spoilt all we want. But I realized, I’ve difficulties achieving those with him. The most annoying thing a guy/girl can do in a relationship is fail to be there for each other when needed. It is not advisable to be MIA because you’re encouraging your bf/gf to confide to other people. If you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of it, play your role as a bf/gf seriously. In my opinion, you will become closer, and you are able to get to know each other without him/her explaining what’s he/she like when you confide with each other, telling each other stories, share joys and woes rather than you spend time hanging out together everyday. When he/she confides with you, he/she is opening up to you, it is the matter of heart, something that people have troubled expressing.

I’ve post about this LDR matter before but I feel that I’ve to make mental notes and apply them more since I can’t depend on him entirely. It made me think, if I can’t depend on him, then what else to it? I shall not discuss this private matter here but I’d like to highlight ways of keeping a relationship especially the LDR kind.

Awareness

Become the observer of your thoughts, your emotions, your needs, and your ego. A question that you should be asking yourself is ‘what is it I want at this moment?’

I want someone who will be there for me no matter what, who I can depend on anytime without question asked.

Express

Don’t bottle up emotion. I’ve become nothing but honest with him. I’ve speak my mind freely but composing suitable words that will make him think about what I said. I know the truth hurts, but if he understands me, even try to, it will end up fine as long as he is true to his word about being mature. In my opinion, if you take responsibility for your word, speaks with thoughts and respect, he will find the honesty and sincerity of your message. By expressing, I’ve realized this has release me of my mental load.

Desperately seeking attention

This is why we become a crybaby. In this state, we become irrational and like a kid we need attention. We do know why baby cries, this is because he/she needs to be attend to. I think we need to be a crybaby sometime because this is the only excuse we have to get closer to him/her. But this role should be kept minimal.

Try putting yourself in each other situation

By doing this, I will be able to understand him more because I am trying to feel what it’s like to be him in that situation. But to be able to do this, he must be able to open up to me.

Lastly, I should remember to

Forgive and accept his behaviour as long as he apologize and explain. Vice versa.