the moment of truth

September - the moment of truth, whether I stay or not...

I have think this thing through...If I stay in Subang, I get to enjoy working with people I love, minus the man who broke my heart, but if I go back to JB, I get to go back with my family. It's a win-win situation - good!

random survey about relationship

Come across this, actually I don't have any idea what to fill in this blog of mine.

Have you ever been in love?

Not truly.

Longest relationship you've ever been in, and why did it end?

A year – I wasn’t ready and I don’t appreciate him

Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how?

No.

Pretend I'm you ex, what do you want to say to me?

I wish I never met you. You are a mistake that shouldn’t have happened.

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.

Have you ever cheated?

So far, never.

Would you date someone who's known for cheating, if yes/no why?

No, I don’t want the same thing happened to me.

What's the most important part of a relationship?

Sincerity – if you are sincere about loving someone, you wouldn’t cheat/break her heart

Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Now, serious relationship.

When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

Nope, how can you get enough of someone you are in love with?

What's one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship?

My childhood love was a jerk – he made me look like a fool, the deepest cut ever and it never really healed.

What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

Only when they're married.

Do you believe in the phrase, "Age is just a number?" Why or why not?

Yes, you yourself define who you are.

What about "Love at first sight"? Why or why not?

Never happen so far so I don’t believe because I don’t fall in love easily

Turn on's?

Intelligent + smell nice

Turn off's?

Cocky + passive

How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

When he makes too many excuses, too often

Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single?

Not in a relationship

Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

Yes

Do you think people should date their friends?

Why not, but have to deal with awkwardness when it fail to work out

How many relationships have you had?

Three

Do you think love can last forever?

If you want it to be, if Allah wills

Do you believe love can conquer all things?

Yes

Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

No, my parents are sensible people who will approve when they see how responsible someone can be

If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

Don’t take things to serious, casual is better

Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not?

Yes if they can really commit – trust and honesty

What do you notice first about another person?

I’m attracted to smart guy who have broad point of views about things, someone who can take about anything, definitely not someone who is quiet and passive

random video: $20 makeup challenge

I subscribed to her videos - make up tutorials

bitterheart

Forgiving is something I no longer care for, it's a lie with saying that forgiving makes your heart feel at ease.  To me, forgiving makes my heart grow colder, hatred thicken. It's best if I just forget the people who make me cry and erase them from my memory rather than I forgave them and keep building the hatred.  Hatred makes people do crazy and unthinkable things.

From this day forward, I shall take care of my own heart, cuz the fact that no one will but I'm alone will.  People will forget you once they get what they want, that is just how it works.  I'm not building negative thinking, I just live in the real world and not being fake believing in fairy tales.  Fairy tales are made because the world is cruel, but luckily this world is just temporary...most important is you do all good things for Akhirah/the afterlife. Insha Allah..

aidilfitri 2012

Ahad ni kalau tak de aral melintang...semua umat Islam bole sambut HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.

Eventhough sadness still surround me and I never quite forget, I will try to put on happy face and celebrate raya joyfully... I just realize I'm getting good at hiding my sadness, great!

Okay, I'm off to Pontian, Johor for raya.  SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.

without you

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

the ugly truth

look what came into my email...

I can't remember the exact date but this is how it happen...

I'm an avid supporter of public transportation.  Although Malaysia's public transportation is disappointing most of the time, but if not me, a Malaysian, should support our public transport system, who will then?  So...I wanted to go to Giant Kota Kemuning from Seksyen 7 Shah Alam and hail a cab because I'm not sure what bus to take.  The driver looks so sure he knows the way, hell taxi driver should know their way around because it's their job.  I did mention I didn't know the way.  Upon arriving at Kota Kemuning, he started to look unsure and start driving around, I was worried about the meter shows more than it should as my friend been to Giant Kota Kemuning via cab and she said it doesn't cost much. Then, there he goes, asking around, he asked quite a number of people but still doesn't know they way.  In my mind, I've started composing what to say if he decided to charge me as per meter show.  Upon arriving, I was right....he did charge me and I questioned him that it is his fault, he should just straightforward informing he doesn't know the way.  I was extremely late and on top of that I was annoyed as I was charged double than I should.  I use cab to get around a lot and this is my first time encounter such case.  I don't mean to get him into trouble but if I just kept quiet about this, then others will suffer the same unfortunate event as me.  I heard countless stories about how annoyed they are with fussy passengers, how they were tricked and don't get paid in the end but what about the customer's side?  There are taxi drivers who picked up 2 passengers at a time but going to different destination and the last customer has to pay extra as they started to charge from the point of the first passenger's destination, what about the constantly angry taxi driver who are ruthless on the road and also other who started to talk about politic and how they detest this party and that party and I did encounter those taxi drivers who charge me as they like without using meter.  But..there are also those who did their job well, use the meter and knows their way around well even suggest a short cut..kudos to them.

Thus, I thought to myself, enough is enough. I support them but they shouldn't treat passenger like this.  Bottom line, both side, taxi driver and customer should respect each other and treat each other like how they want to be treated.

Don't do things to people that you don't want people to do to you.

right here waiting

Never try, never fail...perhaps that's what I should do considering I terribly suck at love department.  Everytime I set my eyes on someone, everytime I'm trying to build my own happiness, something somewhere went wrong.  Was it my fault to be so giving?so give in?too caring?too loving?should I care less and make guys chase after me instead? Almost sick and tired.  When I love, I love unconditionally, truthfully, with all my heart...but no one see that. When I care too much, turn out I'm annoying.  Do you know what it feels like when someone you are deeply in love with, the one that you miss everyday, the one that you patiently wait for tells you that you annoyed him? Reality just slap me right in the face.. Realize when he said he doesn't give answers? That means he doesn't want you to get to know him.

There you have it Jihan, the ugly truth, leave him alone already, he doesn't need you, didn't he mentioned he works best alone? Snap out of it! Stop chasing dream, it's not real.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

more than words

I was afraid of what to come...so traumatized.  Being in that kind of situation over and over again makes me lose my mind, even worse, I'll lose my faith.  I can't seem to get away from it and it kept coming back mocking me in the sweetest sin.  Yes, it is easier said than done, people make plans but only few have the guts to carry out all the way through.  Wish it would be easy but mine was destined to be tough.  It's true what they said about promises are meant to be broken, words glide from your mouth so easy, I want to believe but I can't.  I'll listen to your sweet words but I won't keep it in my mind fearing it will haunt me back like it always did.

Love spending time with you...S.A.

what i need is...

thank god i found you

to the one i'm deeply in love with

Baby,

I'm not good at words, even words cannot express the way I feel now...but sayang, thank you for showering me with lots of love.  I'm so thankful I found you.  May there will be more first time together, inshaAllah.

I pray we live happily ever after till Jannah, inshaAllah.amin.

falling in love again

Alhamdulillah for I am blessed with hectic-ness when I need it.  At least it kept me from thinking about what might have become between us.  Everything happen for a reason, if I don't get my heart broken, I will never have met this wonderful guy.  Let's see how this relationship goes...

I never get tired of falling in love, although when I fall, I fall badly, and get my heart broken is dreadful, but I love the feeling I get when I fall in love.

wondering

Wondering where you are
Wondering why you did it
Wondering if everything about you is a lie
Wondering what I do wrong to deserve this
Wondering when this feelings going to end
 Wondering how much I hated you but I still am in love with you

Imma give you hell

Beginning to question my decision making skill.

I drop a resignation letter to the HR Manager and she refused to accept it wtf. She says how it will affect her as she recommended me and persuade the top management to accept my job application.  The problem is, I surely did not apply for HQ Subang Jaya. Initially I applied for a position in Johor Bahru. Since she was impressed and at the time the department was in lack of employees so she offered me a position in HQ. I was a bit hesitating as I made it clear I wanted a job in Johor but being a fresh graduate with lack of working experience, I decided to take it.

Recently, my mother fell ill and being a devoted daughter and the eldest, I felt responsible for being there and care for her.  Thus, I decided to resign and move back to Johor Bahru.  But the HR department kept questioning as if reluctant to let me go, being annoyed I wrote another letter stating I want to be transferred to Johor Bahru branch with the hope of being there for my mother and again she was being nonchalant about my request.

I was burden with heavy workload with a minimal pay as a trainee doing job like everyone else, I work overtime without OT pay and ended up going back home by cab as public bus to Shah Alam is almost nowhere in sight as the day ended. I have been going back to Johor Bahru every weekend now and it is tiring and the tickets is not cheap. I spent about a hundred bucks every weekend and pushing myself to the limit, my patience is thinning and worriness is thickening. I am about to burst with rage and believe me, I am not the kind to be angry often but when I do, I am really good at it.

Fcuk oppression!

bilik untuk disewa untuk perempuan sahaja kemasukan Julai/Ogos

 

Lokasi: Depan pintu belakang UiTM Shah Alam, Pusat komersial seksyen 7, bangunan belakang menghadap lebuh raya bersebelahan Restoran Iskandar Nasi Kandar. Bilik utama, kongsi berempat, semua katil bawah sebab bilik agak luas.

Berdekatan dengan Pasaraya Giant, stesen minyak ESSO dan Shell, KFC dan Pizza Hut, Gedung Jakel dll...

Kemudahan: katil+tilam+bantal, almari pakaian, televisyen, peti sejuk, mesin basuh manual, meja makan, dapur gas

Sewa: RM110 + deposit sebulan + RM50 untuk bil utilities. Sewa bulanann RM 110.
Keutamaan diberikan kepada mereka yang bekerja.

Untuk keterangan lanjut sila hubungi:
Jihan 017 7830626
Hidayah 0132833587
Raja 012 9014624

sometimes being too picky is good for you

I hope you would stop and take a few minutes of your time to read what I have to say and think this through especially if you are a fresh graduate looking for job.

IT IS OKAY TO BE PICKY!

Your first job should be beneficial for you and the employer.  It should be a win-win situation whereas you contribute your knowledge, skills and sweat and in return you get your hard earned reward.  If you are needed to stay back to do extra work, do not hesitate to ask if you would be paid because you are not doing a charity work! You are working to feed yourself and other responsibilities.  If you do not ask if you are paid to do extra work and you wait for some time, you might face difficulties to claim your OT.

YOU ARE A HUMAN NOT A ROBOT

You are entitled for sick leaves and emergency leaves, human have problems that need to be settle especially if it concerning your health and family.  Company should not question why you need to take sick leaves and emergency leaves, you are not a robot! People get sick, people have family and people sure do have problems. If your employer started being nosy and give excuses to not letting you go, clearly they have issues.  It is not as if you do not complete your job, wise people would do extra work and try to complete pending works as much as they can so that they will not be burden when they come back to work from leave, because if you are ignorant and take leaves as you like you will be in hot seat in the end.

REWARDS OVER RECOGNITION

When we were little, our parents would buy us candies after we complete house chores to teach us that we have to work hard to get something we want.  It is nice to get a pat on the back for doing a good job but it is much nicer if we get rewards.  As for me, I could not care less about recognition because when you are being recognized for something especially in working environment, people tend to be jealous and started questioning if you really deserve it.  They will start comparing you and surely talk behind your back and act all nice in front of you but really they are trying to desert you. Thus, it is nicer if you get paid rather than recognition because salary is a secret deal between you and employer.

GAIN EXPERIENCE, AVOID STUCK BEING A TRAINEE

My mistake is that I straight away furthering my degree after completing my diploma.  It is normal thing to do as people around me are doing the same thing.  As I'm the eldest, I experienced mistakes a lot as I do not have examples to teach me not to.  My younger siblings are much more fortunate because mistakes happening around me enable them to take into consideration not to follow my footsteps.  It should be right after diploma, I started looking for experience working for at least a year, then quit and gave 'furthering studies' as excuse.  As right now, I can see the trend is that employers tend to hire people with impressive experience rather than impressive education qualification.  If you are a fresh graduate with none experience whatsoever lucky for internship, then you are definitely in trouble finding jobs.  You will be consider as trainee for some period of time with a contract stated if you improve the employer will hire you as permanent employee but not all of them do, they will make excuses saying you are not improving enough and you need extra training time and you will be stuck as the trainee with little pay but work as if you are fully paid.  Then you started realizing this is the company way to cut cost and it will be difficult for you to get away. With a piece of paper of contract between you and the employer, you would not stand a chance to fight for your right in the court of justice because these companies got years of experience to build back up plans to save their asses! Not to mention expensive lawyers.

So, there you have it, a piece of mind to share.  Save your sorry ass before it is too late.

fail me not this time

Making decisions is a constant struggle to me.  I'm good at making decisions for others but not for me especially when it comes to matter of the heart.  It is stressful and although I've resorted to listing the goods and the bads, it doesn't really convince me to settle to one final answer.  Now, I only choose what makes me happy now, and I don't know that the right decision will make me happy later.  But I'm a firm believe to when life gives you lemon, you make a lemonade out of it.

Love life will have to wait.  Long to say these words to the one.

"where have you been all this time? I am almost tired of waiting...wish you'd come sooner, then I 

don't have to suffer of broken hearts..."

 Oh how I wish I could say these words soon.

time doesn't heal

It's been awhile dear blog... I don't mean to abandon you.  It's just that I have no idea what to share, I've been an empty can for awhile.  Been pathetic I know...in these down days I prefer laying low, don't feel like sharing and prefer to be on my own.

Broken heart takes most time to heal.  Will never forget for the rest of my life, those moments will occasionally come back, they doesn't go away in time, it's not true...no matter how hard you try to let go, it will keep coming back because it gives such a big impact in your life, especially when someone does change you even for a moment.

Time doesn't heal, this wound will never heal, all you can do is to held your heads high and move forward.  Think of the people who still care about you.

when will I see you again?

a perfect song for you in case you read this...how deep you break my heart... 

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye,
Not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any scene,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

When will I see you again?

blessed and thankful

 Alhamdulillah, I do not feel as hell as ever whenever I get my heart broken because now my new love is my career.  Usually when I'm down, I seek my friends for comfort and if they are not around, when I'm all alone I would cry my heart out.  Now that my time is occupied by work in mind, I don't feel sad 24/7.  I could busy myself with work and not playing the WHY game.  

Of course there are times, especially on my way to and back from work and the time before I fall asleep that I quietly cry.  It's been a month and I don't know when this will be finally over.  Heartbroken has made my mood swings, a close friend notices and guess that I've break up with the guy because she said I fake my smile and laugh and distance myself more often.  Being back home in JB with my family is definitely an instance cure, though I'm not fully recovered, I'm thankful I have my family and friends to back me up.  I'm truly blessed.  Thank you ALLAH swt.

April 2012

April is almost over, I am still hoping for only Allah knows what, of you.
Heart broken, hopes gone, dreams crash and burn.
Thank you for making me stronger.
(in case you read this, you know who you are)

bullshitters be warned

Nothing much happen this past few weeks in April. Aside from living a new life in a same old place, everything is pretty much the same. Oh, scratch that, I'm now struggling to better my life by forgiving and forget. Can't really say that I've reached the forgiving state but I'm slowly able to forget. Just my luck to encounter so many fucking bullshitters in my life. Love is not something that you can promise and trash. It's not a playground for idiot for try and error. It's a matter of heart, something so fragile and easily break. Don't forget this, what goes around comes around..I've nothing against you yet you lay your shits on me. Why????

I've yet found someone who can be as sincere as me and true to their words. But one thing for sure, I will not trust people again. NEVER AGAIN!!!!

I've not giving up on love just yet. Please let the next person be the one I can spend the rest of my life with.amin.

ps: feel like shooting all past bullshitters in the face. Pls grant me a license to kill.

when he's not here to witness my life now...words cannot describe how I feel...

01042012

1 April 2012

Beginning of a new chapter in my life.

sims social update

wish you were

It is sad when the person you want to share moment with is nowhere to be reached.

Someone said, when the guy you like stick with you through pain and sorrow...don't let him slip away because he is worth it.  I went through sorrow with my friends backing me up and you are nowhere to be found.

I am so ready to spread my wings and embark on a new journey.

disappointment

Disappointment after disappointment...

Just a reminder

With no significant other to occupy their time, each member of the couple will end up going out more and will inadvertently meet the next person they will be with next.

SOLUTION: This can be prevented by spending more time with significant other over the phone and make effort to see each other, being M.I.A is not helping...it's making significant other frustrated and don't blame the other party if she starts thinking whether to continue making the relationship work or not. Most important is not to let her feel like it is no different being single and in a relationship with you, if she can't depend on you to make her feel better when she is in low point or share happy stories with you, she will tend to look for other people to confide to, slowly you will have no important role in her life.

Long distance relationships mean couples force themselves to talk too much, and forced talking will eventually lead to fights

SOLUTION: Talking is important in LDR as both of you are unable to spend time together often, but too much of it will leads to argument because she is sick and tired of just talking but no action. Have you not realize that action DO speaks louder than words?

This is me sharing through experience!

im not having it!

This is not the time to feel down about your EXes who are married and having babies!

Why do I feel like a loser?

*

*
*
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FRUSTRATING!

when I should be thinking about getting a job

i turn to YOU and only YOU

When you are in low point of your life and no one you can count on...

Turn to ALLAH swt.  HE is always there for you when no one have time to listen to you.  HE is the only one who are capable to help you.  Don't turn your back on HIM.

thanks but no thank you

Love is sometimes funny and surprising...

I am flattered to know that you willingly offer yourself to be my own back up plan should I and mr.beary decide to call it quits.

I am also surprised that it took you a long time to realize that I treat you well but you look at it like I baby you. There's a difference between babying and caring. Thank you for telling me that I'm good to you when you didn't appreciate me.

But now I've moved on and I am genuinely happy with someone who appreciate and understand me and notice the little details about me. I will not cheat nor will I ever think about having a back up man. As for you, you should think things through before deciding on anything because if you don't, you will end up hurting yourself and tag someone along with you. Don't ever settle as second choice for someone.

# 13 on absolute love

I love beef with black pepper.

I would cook this dish everytime I found beef in the fridge and mama would tell me "aren't you sick of it already?" I post a recipe of the dish before and with this one, it's a bit different, the taste is also different. I guess, when you like something so much you would not get tired of it and in my case, I try to cook the dish in many different possible ways.

The ingredients for this dish are:
Beef
For marinade:
1 1/2 tbs of corn starch
2 tbs of soy sauce
Salt
White Pepper
2 cloves of garlic finely chopped
3 bird's eye chili pepper or as we call it cili padi finely chopped
1 chilli roughly chopped
1 onion chopped in rings
Black peppercorn roughly grind
Black pepper sauce

# 12 short story

The Princess and the Pea by Hans Christian Andersen
One of my favourite bedtime story, I read the story a lot when I was a kid.

Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a princess; but she would have to be a real princess. He travelled all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were princesses enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real princess.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.

building a house for 2

I have endure a few relationships that I'm not proud of. It hurts and definitely left a deep permanent scar. I agree it is not entirely the other party's fault and sometimes it is mine. But, now I'm matured and started thinking about having a family of my own, I'm ready to be serious and be committed. It's my turn now, I deserve someone nice just for me. I'm not excellent in other things I do, thus I pray let love be one thing that I'm blessed with.

Building a relationship is like building a house. It has to be able to provide shelter, it must have a strong foundation, it must be protected from disasters, easily accessible and last but not least, requires maintenance.

There should be trust as a solid foundation, 4 walls that are made of honesty, loyalty, understanding and reliability. The roof should be made of love, romance and compassion. There are other things that make a house cosy and comfortable, so does a relationship. Other things that makes it complete are respect, support, care, cooperation, share, committment, consideration, responsibility, patience and loads of other things.

10 things I dislike in a guy

10 things I dislike in a guy

1. Overbearing
2. Easily jealous
3. Makes too many excuses
4. Incompetent due to laziness
5. Passive
6. A commentator
7. Too difficult to please
8. Perfectionist
9. Cocky
10. Self-centered

10 things I want to do before I die

10 things I want to do before I die

1. Learn French
2. Island hopping
3. Swimming lesson for scuba diving activity
4. Loose weight and exercise regularly
5. Go to Europe
6. Be married and have 10 babies
7. Start own business
8. Get a master/phd
9. Learn how to knit
10. Role model to others

# 11 currently on mind

10 things I like about being a university student

1. You can dress up / down to class
2. Secretly passing out notes among classmates during lectures
3. Making noises before lecturers arrive and when they do, pretend that we were studying for their classes
4. Presentations over exams / tests
5. Adrenaline rush whenever there are pop quiz
6. Hanging out in between classes
7. Late night meetings at mamak's till 6 am, sleep a bit and go to class at 8 am like a zombie
8. Weekend karaoke
9. Study group at friend's (yeah right)
10. Attending various events organized by student bodies

weekend with gummy bear

I have the best weekend ever at home! I didn't go anywhere, the rest of the days were dedicated spending time with my gummy bear, best feelings ever! xoxo mon cher~ je t'aime!

# 10 letter to future self

# 9 love story

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said "No". She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said "No". Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said "No". She had heard enough; she needed to leave.

As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said "You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don`t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die." 

p/s: I know this is cheesy, but I like it.

# 8 anything

Highly Recommended: Ponette

A truly captivating movie about Ponette, a little french girl who lost her mother in a car crash.  She withdraws herself from the world, trying and doing all sorts of things so that her mother would come back.

Starring: Victoire Thivisol
Volpi Cup for Best Actress and Young Artist Award for Best Young Performer in a Foreign Film for Ponette

# 7 short poem

Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

Dreams by Langston Hughes

#6 feelings to someone

#5 letter to anybody

1. To my EX-bff who stabs in the back and stole my money and played with my trust

You selfish pathetic human being. It is sad to be you, to have to sneak your way in and pretend that you are nice so that you could stole from me. Your mother must be sad to have someone like you for a daughter because she raised you right with education and teach you moral values. I know she's done the best because she's a teacher herself. She doesn't deserve someone like you. Please don't reproduce, do if you've straighten yourself out!

2. To the person who pretend you are an angel but you are really FAKE!

I know what you did, only I know and the things I know could easily bring you down in the blink of an eye. I'm not going to tell on you because I'm nothing like you. Someday, you will get what you deserve. No wonder you are a mess! With that attitude, prancing around, acting like you are a role model but actually you're not makes me sick! If only people around you know what you are. You didn't deserve respect because you didn't earn it, you are cunning and clever with words. Someday you'll go down, they you'll realize.

3. To the little nosy girl who mind my matters with Teddy.

MYOB! You are pathetic, got no life do you?

p/s: I know you guys are going to read this. GET OFF MY BACK, I surely don't need people like you in my life.

#4 rant on anything

There are loads of things that I found annoying from lies to flies, but the most annoying thing so far is inconsiderate people who cuts line. It's a challenge enough and a test of your patience that you have to wait for your turn while you are actually in a hurry, to see people suddenly come and cuts in line really get on my nerves. Clearly they are selfish and only think of themselves, without guilt, cuts in line without thinking of others. Everybody wants to hurry, everyone got issues to get to. I don't care whoever they are, you just have to line up and wait for your turn like everybody else. Of course this doesn't apply to the elderly and sick people. If I have the license to slap, I would slap some senses to these mindless idiots.

#3 review anything

Best 25 romance movies according to me.

another year wiser now

Alhamdulillah, I have come to 25 years living in this world.  I am thankful for the blessings bestow upon me by the Almighty.

I used to think that birthday is the one day I could get what I want, I should be treated like a princess and I could get away with anything because it is my special day.  But as I grew older, thankfully more wiser, I come to think that birthday is not about being selfish and self-centered.  It's about being thankful that you are given the opportunity to live and witness happiness and even sadness that make you stronger with people around you.  It's a chance to be better, to do more good, to make up for all the sins that you have done, for the heart that you've hurt or break without u realize it.

The best thing about this year birthday is that receiving some wise words from someone very dear to me that make me humble and not being grumpy because there is no party or celebration for me.  He said, in this world, you are a year older, but in another, you are 1 year less from being taken away from this world.  I was in deep thought and I am thankful that I have someone to constantly remind me.

p/s: dear you, thank you for the wise words, and thank you for spending hours talking to me on the phone although you are extremely busy,looking forward to meet you... =)

turning 25

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

tutorial on post divider/separator

I came across a freebie of post dividers or separators at shabbyblogs.com. I really like this one particular divider and decided to include it in my blog. I Googled on several websites for tutorials on how to apply post divider to blog. Since my blog has undergone some minor modifications in the past, the html code is all messed up and confusing for me and since I’m not one of those people who are good at coding, using logical thinking, I managed to apply the divider by combining several tutorials.

I would like to share this tutorial which is not mine but a combination of a few tutorials from other websites.
(please bear with me, I'm a beginner at this)

For those who are newbies and are not familiar with a divider, a post divider is located between two posts and separates a previous post and a current post.

First, you need a divider of your choice. You can either make one or get it at websites that offer freebies. Then, you need to save the image to your computer and upload the image at image hosting site like Photobucket.com. You have to adjust the length and height of your divider so that when you include it in your blog it will not get cropped and interfere with the sidebar.

In order to adjust the length and height of your divider;

Go to DESIGN > TEMPLATE DESIGNER > ADJUST WIDTHS

If you are using a 2 column template like me, what I did is, I subtract the width of my entire blog with the width of my sidebar. For example 730 px – 270 px = 460 px

I adjust the length of my divider to 400 px, not 460 px so that there a space between main posts and sidebar, but it really depend on your preference. Take note of the height of the divider, mine is 46 px.

Then, go to DESIGN > EDIT HTML > check EXPAND WIDGET TEMPLATES

(you may want to copy and save your html code before you begin)

Using ctrl+F, find this code;

<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'/>

Underneath it, paste this code;

<center><img height='46' src='URL OF YOUR DIVIDER HERE'/></center>

It should look like this,

All you need to do is replace ‘URL OF YOUR DIVIDER HERE’ with the link of your divider and the height is according to the height of your divider.

Preview your template and do adjustments to the length and height of your divider if you are not satisfied with the look until you do before you click on “save templates”.

Good luck and hope this tutorial help you like it help me.

I think too much...

Just randomly browsing 9gag,when...

I do this a lot because I feel so insecure.  If you happen to read this, please don't left me, help me get through this... I just need faith and trust plus some time to get better.

#2 write a short fanfiction

Disclaimer: JK Rowlings is responsible for the creation of characters used in this story, I'm just using her world and change it a bit. Rating: G
Please DO NOT copy my work without my consent. TQ.

Inspired by Katy Perry's The One That Got Away.

And in another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

“Ron, do you have time now?” asked Hermione hopefully.

“Sorry, I got Quidditch practice now, what is it?”

“But you practiced the whole day yesterday…we barely hang out!”

“Hermione, we barely have enough time for the match against Durmstrang. What is it that you want to tell me that’s more important than this? I don’t want to get bloody beaten up by those blokes. You know how much I despise them,” Ron said impatiently

“Oh, never mind!” Hermione said and run hurriedly out of Gryffindor Common Room.

Lately, Harry and Ron have been up and about with the match that they barely have time for Hermione. It’s not that she can’t hang out with Lavender Brown and the Patil’s sisters. It’s just that, she is more comfortable with Harry and Ron. They have been inseparable since their first year at Hogwarts. Ginny on the other hand spends more time with Dean Thomas. Although they invited her to hang with them but the thought of being a third party and seeing their public displays of affection makes her curl.

Now, in their final year, Ron joined Harry as the Quidditch keeper, they spend most of their time in the field together. Of course Hermione visit them occasionally, cheering them on the stand, but when it’s over they are too tired to even have small talk with her. That made her upset. Plus, Hermione heard Ron talking to Neville about being a Quidditch player seriously. Although Ron joked about it, he at least has thought about it. Hermione remembered in their fifth year when Harry lead them in Dumbledore’s Army, while practicing their Patronus charm in the Room of Requirement, they made a packed to serve the wizarding world as Aurors. The more Hermione thought about it, the more upset she became. She didn’t realize she was slamming Charms for the Advanced book on the table that everyone was looking at her and the librarian gave her a deadly look.

Hermione was about to turn the pages when she felt as if someone was looking at her. She looks up and only saw Draco Malfoy alone with a book. Draco wasn’t looking at her, his eyes were fixed on the book. She quickly gaze away, she doesn’t want Draco to notice her watching him. She despised the Twitchy Ferret, a name that has then stuck whenever the three of them referring to Draco in a conversation thanks to the incident in their second year when Ron accidentally turn Draco into a ferret when he called her a Mudblood. But she still felt someone was eyeing her, too upset, she ignores and quickly lost in the book.

*******

#1 write an autobiography

An autobiography is the story of a person’s life written by himself.

I was born the eldest of four in Johor Bahru, a state in the southern part of Malaysia. Both my parents are Johoreans working in a government linked company since before they got me until now. I received my earliest education at Taski al-Ummah 7 located within the neighbourhood. It is an education that stressed on Islamic teaching to children at an early age. Later, I enrolled in a primary school also within the neighbourhood, Sekolah Kebangsaan Kompleks Uda from age 7 until 12. Later, I enrolled to one of Johor Bahru’s premier secondary school after achieving a good result for UPSR, Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan I.J. Convent from age 13 until 17. I was having difficulties adjusting in a school of intelligent girls because for the first time I really have to compete to be one of the top students. Later, I study for STPM at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Sultan Ibrahim for a short period of time and did not sit for STPM as I was offered a place in a local university located in eastern part of Malaysia. Before I enrolled, I got my first part-time job in a textile shop located in a mall 5 minutes drive from my house. I bought some essentials for my first term living in Terengganu with my salary. Honestly, the place was a total stranger for me even though it is within Malaysia. I did not adjust well and often get homesick. Most of my classmates were originally from the eastern part of Malaysia and they speak a heavy accent that I have trouble to clearly understand. In my first semester, I was elected as the class representative and clearly most of them are not pleased since I wasn’t from around there. Soon, I was well-accepted since I portray a well-received act of leadership and they see that I have developed a good relationship with the lecturers that benefit us especially when we achieved a mutual understanding regarding assignments and projects with the lecturers. Diploma years went by almost with a blink of an eye and soon I found myself eager to start Degree years. I got accepted by the same local university but this time it was in Shah Alam, the headquarter, if I may say so. I deviated from my original course and studied business for 2 years and 6 months of internship. I was not actively involved in various university events as I was in Terengganu back then. During the first semester, I started missing the actions involving in various university events and even more with gamelan. Later, I found myself busy coping with studies and I engaged myself with 2 persons who are not only classmates, but also best friends. We were busy coping with studies as well as having fun together. Now that we have graduated, we haven’t lost contact ever since. Although we are miles apart, but we still talk every now and then and we decided that this short break is like semester break and we will eventually reunited. I have none bad memories received in my degree years, all good ones that top each other each year. The best time of my life so far…

new look for new year

I long planned to change my blog's look but was too lazy to get it done, so today I finally did.  The older version was sweet and demure looking, this time it was all vintage. Love it!

old template

I played around with Photoshop and manipulated some pictures, combine and arranged them to fit into a tiny space called banner. I do not own any of those pictures. 

first attempt (too crowded)

second attempt (too empty)

After third attempt, I came up with this:

I like the blue bird addition.

random pic: sims social FB

My hard work and dedication =P

the crybaby

Being in LDR kind of relationship truly tests your ability to stay loyal and honest. Everyone can declare that they possess these traits but to be able to keep and maintain them need perseverance and hard work.

Every now and then, we each take turn to be a crybaby. Take me for instance, when I was not in a relationship, I am dependent and able to handle anything on my own but once I’m in a relationship, I realized I’ve someone that I can depend who listen to my blabbering about life, my dissatisfaction on things and occasions that happen in my life. I’ve become a drama queen because I know there is someone who will listen and coax me, totally spoil me. Mostly, the crybaby role will be played by the girl and the guy will be calm and listens. During the crybaby state, the person will become whiny, defensive and severely emotional. I know this because I am one, plus I’ve observed some of my friends’ behavior. But not all guys can stand a crybaby. When there is too much drama going on, he will eventually become bored with it and get away from the drama scene.

I found that being in a long distance relationship, has turned me into a cry baby and a drama queen. Since my boyfriend is not around to coax me, I will end up being frustrated and angry. After some time, I’ve to coax myself and be self-motivated. It made me thinking, the point of us having a relationship is so that we have someone whom we can pour our heart to, share our happiness and sorrows, become spoilt all we want. But I realized, I’ve difficulties achieving those with him. The most annoying thing a guy/girl can do in a relationship is fail to be there for each other when needed. It is not advisable to be MIA because you’re encouraging your bf/gf to confide to other people. If you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of it, play your role as a bf/gf seriously. In my opinion, you will become closer, and you are able to get to know each other without him/her explaining what’s he/she like when you confide with each other, telling each other stories, share joys and woes rather than you spend time hanging out together everyday. When he/she confides with you, he/she is opening up to you, it is the matter of heart, something that people have troubled expressing.

Skin Care 101

Did you know skin is body’s biggest organ?

Skin plays an important role in protecting us against pathogens (things that causes disease) and excessive water loss. The skin covers and protects everything inside the body. It helps keep body at just the right temperature and allow us to have the sense of touch.

The skin keeps infections out of the body and keeps us from getting sick. Thus, it is crucial that we take extreme measures in taking care of our skin. By doing so, you are helping your skin do its job. Early care of your skin will help prevent future problems like wrinkles and even skin cancer. Most people dream to have skin that is healthy inside and radiant outside. They concentrate on skin care for their face because it is most noticeable and the most sensitive part of the skin.

Clean skin is happy skin. The easiest way to keep your skin happy is by keeping your hands clean. This is important because our hands can spread germs to the skin. Another way of keeping our skin healthy is by doing a daily skin care regimen. A daily skin care regimen should include: