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Sunday, July 29

more than words

I was afraid of what to come...so traumatized.  Being in that kind of situation over and over again makes me lose my mind, even worse, I'll lose my faith.  I can't seem to get away from it and it kept coming back mocking me in the sweetest sin.  Yes, it is easier said than done, people make plans but only few have the guts to carry out all the way through.  Wish it would be easy but mine was destined to be tough.  It's true what they said about promises are meant to be broken, words glide from your mouth so easy, I want to believe but I can't.  I'll listen to your sweet words but I won't keep it in my mind fearing it will haunt me back like it always did.

Love spending time with you...S.A.

what i need is...


Thursday, July 19

thank god i found you





to the one i'm deeply in love with

Baby,

I'm not good at words, even words cannot express the way I feel now...but sayang, thank you for showering me with lots of love.  I'm so thankful I found you.  May there will be more first time together, inshaAllah.

I pray we live happily ever after till Jannah, inshaAllah.amin.

Saturday, July 14

falling in love again

Alhamdulillah for I am blessed with hectic-ness when I need it.  At least it kept me from thinking about what might have become between us.  Everything happen for a reason, if I don't get my heart broken, I will never have met this wonderful guy.  Let's see how this relationship goes...

I never get tired of falling in love, although when I fall, I fall badly, and get my heart broken is dreadful, but I love the feeling I get when I fall in love.

Sunday, July 1

wondering

Wondering where you are
Wondering why you did it
Wondering if everything about you is a lie
Wondering what I do wrong to deserve this
Wondering when this feelings going to end
 Wondering how much I hated you but I still am in love with you

Imma give you hell

Beginning to question my decision making skill.

I drop a resignation letter to the HR Manager and she refused to accept it wtf. She says how it will affect her as she recommended me and persuade the top management to accept my job application.  The problem is, I surely did not apply for HQ Subang Jaya. Initially I applied for a position in Johor Bahru. Since she was impressed and at the time the department was in lack of employees so she offered me a position in HQ. I was a bit hesitating as I made it clear I wanted a job in Johor but being a fresh graduate with lack of working experience, I decided to take it.

Recently, my mother fell ill and being a devoted daughter and the eldest, I felt responsible for being there and care for her.  Thus, I decided to resign and move back to Johor Bahru.  But the HR department kept questioning as if reluctant to let me go, being annoyed I wrote another letter stating I want to be transferred to Johor Bahru branch with the hope of being there for my mother and again she was being nonchalant about my request.

I was burden with heavy workload with a minimal pay as a trainee doing job like everyone else, I work overtime without OT pay and ended up going back home by cab as public bus to Shah Alam is almost nowhere in sight as the day ended. I have been going back to Johor Bahru every weekend now and it is tiring and the tickets is not cheap. I spent about a hundred bucks every weekend and pushing myself to the limit, my patience is thinning and worriness is thickening. I am about to burst with rage and believe me, I am not the kind to be angry often but when I do, I am really good at it.

Fcuk oppression!

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sometimes being too picky is good for you

I hope you would stop and take a few minutes of your time to read what I have to say and think this through especially if you are a fresh graduate looking for job.

IT IS OKAY TO BE PICKY!
Your first job should be beneficial for you and the employer.  It should be a win-win situation whereas you contribute your knowledge, skills and sweat and in return you get your hard earned reward.  If you are needed to stay back to do extra work, do not hesitate to ask if you would be paid because you are not doing a charity work! You are working to feed yourself and other responsibilities.  If you do not ask if you are paid to do extra work and you wait for some time, you might face difficulties to claim your OT.

YOU ARE A HUMAN NOT A ROBOT
You are entitled for sick leaves and emergency leaves, human have problems that need to be settle especially if it concerning your health and family.  Company should not question why you need to take sick leaves and emergency leaves, you are not a robot! People get sick, people have family and people sure do have problems. If your employer started being nosy and give excuses to not letting you go, clearly they have issues.  It is not as if you do not complete your job, wise people would do extra work and try to complete pending works as much as they can so that they will not be burden when they come back to work from leave, because if you are ignorant and take leaves as you like you will be in hot seat in the end.

REWARDS OVER RECOGNITION
When we were little, our parents would buy us candies after we complete house chores to teach us that we have to work hard to get something we want.  It is nice to get a pat on the back for doing a good job but it is much nicer if we get rewards.  As for me, I could not care less about recognition because when you are being recognized for something especially in working environment, people tend to be jealous and started questioning if you really deserve it.  They will start comparing you and surely talk behind your back and act all nice in front of you but really they are trying to desert you. Thus, it is nicer if you get paid rather than recognition because salary is a secret deal between you and employer.

GAIN EXPERIENCE, AVOID STUCK BEING A TRAINEE
My mistake is that I straight away furthering my degree after completing my diploma.  It is normal thing to do as people around me are doing the same thing.  As I'm the eldest, I experienced mistakes a lot as I do not have examples to teach me not to.  My younger siblings are much more fortunate because mistakes happening around me enable them to take into consideration not to follow my footsteps.  It should be right after diploma, I started looking for experience working for at least a year, then quit and gave 'furthering studies' as excuse.  As right now, I can see the trend is that employers tend to hire people with impressive experience rather than impressive education qualification.  If you are a fresh graduate with none experience whatsoever lucky for internship, then you are definitely in trouble finding jobs.  You will be consider as trainee for some period of time with a contract stated if you improve the employer will hire you as permanent employee but not all of them do, they will make excuses saying you are not improving enough and you need extra training time and you will be stuck as the trainee with little pay but work as if you are fully paid.  Then you started realizing this is the company way to cut cost and it will be difficult for you to get away. With a piece of paper of contract between you and the employer, you would not stand a chance to fight for your right in the court of justice because these companies got years of experience to build back up plans to save their asses! Not to mention expensive lawyers.

So, there you have it, a piece of mind to share.  Save your sorry ass before it is too late.