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bitterheart

Forgiving is something I no longer care for, it's a lie with saying that forgiving makes your heart feel at ease.  To me, forgiving makes my heart grow colder, hatred thicken. It's best if I just forget the people who make me cry and erase them from my memory rather than I forgave them and keep building the hatred.  Hatred makes people do crazy and unthinkable things.

From this day forward, I shall take care of my own heart, cuz the fact that no one will but I'm alone will.  People will forget you once they get what they want, that is just how it works.  I'm not building negative thinking, I just live in the real world and not being fake believing in fairy tales.  Fairy tales are made because the world is cruel, but luckily this world is just temporary...most important is you do all good things for Akhirah/the afterlife. Insha Allah..

aidilfitri 2012

Ahad ni kalau tak de aral melintang...semua umat Islam bole sambut HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.

Eventhough sadness still surround me and I never quite forget, I will try to put on happy face and celebrate raya joyfully... I just realize I'm getting good at hiding my sadness, great!

Okay, I'm off to Pontian, Johor for raya.  SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.

without you

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

the ugly truth

look what came into my email...

I can't remember the exact date but this is how it happen...

I'm an avid supporter of public transportation.  Although Malaysia's public transportation is disappointing most of the time, but if not me, a Malaysian, should support our public transport system, who will then?  So...I wanted to go to Giant Kota Kemuning from Seksyen 7 Shah Alam and hail a cab because I'm not sure what bus to take.  The driver looks so sure he knows the way, hell taxi driver should know their way around because it's their job.  I did mention I didn't know the way.  Upon arriving at Kota Kemuning, he started to look unsure and start driving around, I was worried about the meter shows more than it should as my friend been to Giant Kota Kemuning via cab and she said it doesn't cost much. Then, there he goes, asking around, he asked quite a number of people but still doesn't know they way.  In my mind, I've started composing what to say if he decided to charge me as per meter show.  Upon arriving, I was right....he did charge me and I questioned him that it is his fault, he should just straightforward informing he doesn't know the way.  I was extremely late and on top of that I was annoyed as I was charged double than I should.  I use cab to get around a lot and this is my first time encounter such case.  I don't mean to get him into trouble but if I just kept quiet about this, then others will suffer the same unfortunate event as me.  I heard countless stories about how annoyed they are with fussy passengers, how they were tricked and don't get paid in the end but what about the customer's side?  There are taxi drivers who picked up 2 passengers at a time but going to different destination and the last customer has to pay extra as they started to charge from the point of the first passenger's destination, what about the constantly angry taxi driver who are ruthless on the road and also other who started to talk about politic and how they detest this party and that party and I did encounter those taxi drivers who charge me as they like without using meter.  But..there are also those who did their job well, use the meter and knows their way around well even suggest a short cut..kudos to them.

Thus, I thought to myself, enough is enough. I support them but they shouldn't treat passenger like this.  Bottom line, both side, taxi driver and customer should respect each other and treat each other like how they want to be treated.

Don't do things to people that you don't want people to do to you.

right here waiting

Never try, never fail...perhaps that's what I should do considering I terribly suck at love department.  Everytime I set my eyes on someone, everytime I'm trying to build my own happiness, something somewhere went wrong.  Was it my fault to be so giving?so give in?too caring?too loving?should I care less and make guys chase after me instead? Almost sick and tired.  When I love, I love unconditionally, truthfully, with all my heart...but no one see that. When I care too much, turn out I'm annoying.  Do you know what it feels like when someone you are deeply in love with, the one that you miss everyday, the one that you patiently wait for tells you that you annoyed him? Reality just slap me right in the face.. Realize when he said he doesn't give answers? That means he doesn't want you to get to know him.

There you have it Jihan, the ugly truth, leave him alone already, he doesn't need you, didn't he mentioned he works best alone? Snap out of it! Stop chasing dream, it's not real.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you