1. Merisik
Nowadays, the Malays normally skip this part as this tradition is most suitable for arranged marriage. Merisik is the seeking ceremony where a man is ready to settle down, his family will seek out information about suitable/particular woman. Representatives from the man's family will pay visit to the woman's family, there may be or may not be further arrangement of marriage as this depends on both sides of family whether to further or not.
2. Bertunang or engagement
If there is further arrangement of marriage (means both sides agree), engagement date will be set. It is held at the soon-to-be-bride's home, a symbol that the future groom and bride are reserved to be married. This is when both families discuss the wedding date and plan. Both sides will bring gifts for each other which normally in modern Malay wedding consist of dessert, shoes, accessories, sometimes electronic gadget like handphone.
3. Malam berinai
Three days before the wedding (nowadays usually a day before the wedding), there will be malam berinai or henna drawing ceremony, during this time, henna is worn on the fingertips of the bride. Today weddings, elaborate henna design is worn as it is fashionable.
4. Akad nikah or solemnization a.k.a marriage contract
Both bride and groom will sign the marriage contract witness by religious officials, family and relatives which is required by both Islamic and civic law to legalize a Malay wedding. Both newlywed will exchange rings as symbol of unity. The groom will present his bride with mas kahwin (dowry) which is a payment from husband to wife that is legally due by Islamic law during the solemnization ceremony either in form of money or something that has monetary value for example gold jewelries. For further information, visit Dowry (mahar) in Islamic Perspective.
5. Bersanding
the Crown Prince of Brunei and Princess Sarah was married on September 9th, 2004
The couple will sits on pelamin and as a mark of approval and blessing, family,relatives followed by guests will sprinkle the newly wed with scented water and yellow rice. The guests are given bunga telur as a symbol of fertility which nowadays modern Malay wedding replace this with various kind of doorgift.
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